Good Bye Ashes

Ashes, my childhood cat died last night. She had to be put to sleep because she was suffering. My big fur ball of a kitty who was once so plump she had rolls, was a emaciated 4lbs. A big part of me blames my father that Ashes' suffering was prolonged. My mother and I had been telling him to please take Ashes to the vet and get her some help. The vet discovered Ashes had a thyroid problem once he did take her (after everyone had begged him to take her). After finally seeing a vet, and the discovery of the thyroid problem, she was put on medication for it. Ashes gained weight and was doing really well. Then she began to lose weight again. The last time I saw her was on Halloween. I knew then I probably wouldn't see her again. It really bothers me that I didn't get to say goodbye.

Even back then.. on Halloween I told my dad over & over "take her to the vet". Back then they would have tested her thyroid levels and made sure she didn't need more medicine, or needed less. All he had to do was take her to the vet. Instead Ashes kept losing more, and more weight. The vet believes that Ashes did have cancer because her lymph nodes were really enlarged. But my father could have taken her to a vet and gotten proper care for her. Instead she went with no medical care, and suffered for quite some time. It really angers me. He uses the excuse he can't afford the vet... but yet he goes flying all the time. It costs alot to fly an airplane. If he could afford that, he could afford to take care of Ashes!

I love Ashes. I always will. I am so saddened that her life is over, and crushed I couldn't say bye to her. Although... I probably wouldn't have wanted to see the condition my father let her get into. He did the same with my beloved cat Blacky, whom I got at the age of 2. Blacky died when I was 20. One month after my first child was born.

My mom was there when Ashes was humanely euthanized. She purred up until the end. She could barely breath and was too weak to get up, but she still purred.

I will remember the fun times.. Like when she first came home when I was 8. I remember running around with a long string and her chasing after it. She always loved those feather toys too. Ashes even went to see Santa with me at petsmart. I sat on Santa's lap with Ashes, and we had our photo taken. She was so pretty, and so sweet. Ashes loved kids, and was so good hearted. RIP my sweet Ashes. I love you.

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Another baby

Today I sort of got a dose of reality, and how quickly time is going by. I know I am only 24 BUT I do have fertility issues. My OB was shocked that I became pregnant with my 2ND son, and then again with a 3rd. I now have fibroids(spelling?). My brothers girl friend today had to go to her Dr. and now at only 29 needs a hysterectomy. She started out with fibroids and now has endometriosis. That is what I was told anyway... But I am really afraid that if Brad and I do not have another child soon, we never will. Brad has wanted to try again for a girl for some time now. I have been afraid too. I really love spending time with my 3 boys, and enjoying them while they are still real little. Dustin will be two already, and this is the longest I have gone without being pregnant. It just really saddens me to know this will be the last time I will be pregnant. I can not have any more children after my next pregnancy. I am only 24, and I don't like knowing that this is it. No more kids. I love kids, and I would love to have a huge family. Because of my C-sections it just isn't possible; and that kills me.

There is so much going on right now, and now this is on my mind. It is always something. I am really thinking I need to make the decision to start trying for baby # 4. I just hope this time it will be our long awaited daughter. I feel so crappy right now.

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Changes

Well hello again! It has been a while since I last wrote. I'm finding it is getting harder to find the time to write. Before I start telling about all of the changes going on right now I want to wish my dad a happy birthday. Today was his B-day, and this weekend we were hoping he could come over for cake and ice cream. Plus the super bowl is on too :o) But now it is supposed to snow, and snow a lot!! Our area is supposed to get any where from 12-30 inches of snow! I don't think I've seen 30 inches of snow since I was a kid during a blizzard. I don't really remember what year the blizzard was though, maybe 1994?

But anyway... there are a lot of changes happening. My brother and his family has come to stay with us for a short time. They got a house a few houses down from ours that they are moving into next weekend. It's a great house too, 3 bedrooms, walk in closets, finished basement. It is nice! I will be happy once they move into their own place. It has been sooo hectic with 6 kids under one roof. I am starting to get sick of breaking up fights between the two youngest, and having my niece teaching my boys bad things. Ugh!! One more long week lol.

We also visited Samantha for a short period of time over the weekend. Brad got off of work early so we drove over to see her, and gave her a valentines day gift. I had bough her a cute webkinz that came in a valentines day bag. She really loved it. Brad also asked if she could tell her mom to call us. Shockingly Sam's mom called! The phone conversation went well, and we may possibly be getting joint custody of Samantha now. I am hoping that is the case. I won't believe any of it until it happens though.

Bradley has his glasses now. He seems to be doing really well with them. He is such a cutie pie. Today Bradley had an accident due to his cousin April. April decided she would teach her little cousins to jump on their beds. Then she pushed Bradley and he fell and hit his nose on the windows ledge! Now my poor boy has a purple nose, and beginning to have black eyes. I am really angry with April. She has been being so bad. Unfortunately I am having to give Bradley a break from his glasses until his little nose heals.

Parker had his CT scan to check if he had fluid on his brain again. Thankfully it came out fine. Parker will be visiting a behavior specialist to make sure he isn't autistic. I'm not thinking he is, and if he is it's a slight case. Parker is so smart at times, and such a sweet heart. He has forgotten things like how to write his name, and how to use the bathroom. One day Parker just decided he was going to stop using the potty. Now he is doing good again, and isn't having many accidents. We will see what the Dr. says.

Dustin is very frustrated lately. He is my little love bug, and is used to not having to compete with another baby. With his cousin staying with us he is really acting out. AJ is 4 months younger than Dustin who is 23 months old now. AJ and Dustin fight like cats and dogs. It is funny at times to watch them interact, but they really do not get along at times. Dustin is always running to me crying and points to AJ and tells me "bad boy". My poor boy! Sharing is really hard for him at his age, but he is doing pretty well. But this length of time he has had to give up all his toys to his cousins is really hard on him. I am sure he will be happy when they move into their own home, and he gets to visit them, and not see them every minute of every day!

Well goodbye for now, I will update more when I know more.

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